Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
