So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
