its not stalking. its research.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
