Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
