I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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