did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
