Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
