its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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