have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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