The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
