i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
