its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
