Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
