Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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