you would pick up someone in the library
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
