great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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