My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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