You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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