I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize