Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
