Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
