no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
