Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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