similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
These tits shall not be calmed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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