we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
