u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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