I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize