also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
