remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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