if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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