ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
