Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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