just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
