What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
