I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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