We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
