please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
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First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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