why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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