So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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