Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
