It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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