i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
bring money and cleavage
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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