I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is my gift to your gina
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
