I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
