i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
