The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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