Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
