fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think I am morally bankrupt
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
