Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
