yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
