I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
