i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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