Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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