When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
