Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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